You Should Have Only One Goal in Every Conversation: This Is It 

The 1-step process to win every interaction from now until forever

“You only make a first impression once.” — Steve Jobs

Many years ago, I learned a technique that has helped me more times than I can count.

Most people never use this technique. They have never heard of it.

The technique is not a secret, though, and it is hardly challenging or difficult to implement.

And it is not manipulative or evil. You will not compromise any of your values (at least if you do it right) to use it.

Anyone can use this technique to win every single interaction from now until the end of time.

• You can guarantee that you will make amazing first impressions.
• You can guarantee that you will always leave job interviews feeling amazing and confident.
• You can make people actually look for ways to work with you.
• You can act in a way so that people will nearly (or actually) beg to work with you.

I have done it countless times.

This is not some magical, touchy-feely, hope and prayer. This is a technique that has helped me and other professionals tremendously and can do the same for you.

And I actually learned this technique from a successful screenwriter. I can sum it up in three words: make a fan.

But the words mean nothing without the explanation.

Life Lessons from Film School

“The problem contains the solution.” — Michael Bierut

Many years ago, I was trying to learn as much as I could about the film industry. I had dreams of writing the great screenplay that would change the world.

My friend Dave — owner of a local equipment shop — gave me a recording of a screenwriting workshop that contained amazing advice. I loved the recording and have listened to it quite a few times.

The best piece of advice, however, was about how to pitch a screenplay.

A big part of writing a screenplay is getting someone to buy your screenplay so that a movie can be made. It does not make much sense to write a screenplay if the script never becomes a movie.

But it is hard to find a producer or company that wants to produce your script.

Pitching, from this particular screenwriter’s experience, was usually him and one or two other people from a movie studio, sitting in a room. The screenwriter has a very short period of time to “pitch” his idea.

There are so many inherent difficulties in this setup.

• First, you have no idea what the studio is looking for: comedy, drama, action, fantasy, westerns… something else?
• Second, even if you have a great idea, you have an incredibly short amount of time to pitch the idea.
• Third, even if you give a great pitch, there is not much stopping the studio from taking your pitch and making a movie from your pitch without even using your script (and definitely without paying you).

The deck is seriously stacked against a screenwriter in this situation.

So Here Is This Writer’s Solution…

“When we are no longer able to change a situation, we are challenged to change ourselves.” ― Viktor E. Frankl

In a pitch meeting, a writer cannot control what the other people are looking for.

You only have so many scripts. A certain number of ideas. When you sit at that table, you only bring what you have.

You have to pitch what you have.

So you pitch your best stuff. The best.

But you also have to hook the audience immediately.

Here is a modified example of what the writer proposed when pitching a TV episode of the hottest show on TV at the time.

The main character walks into the hospital emergency room where he works. Immediately, a man dressed in dark clothes pulls out a gun and shoots our main guy in the head.

[pause]

Wanna hear more?

Even if you have never seen the show or heard of this writer, you have to admit that most people would probably want to know more. How can a writer kill off the main character in the first 30 seconds? You want to know more, right?

A good storyteller can hook the audience with a great pitch.

But so what? You have a good story. But that’s it.

The writer talked about how sometimes your great pitch is not even what the studio is looking for at that moment.

Imagine you pitch a drama.

Sorry, we are not looking for dramas. We are really hot on westerns. Do you have any thoughts on a western?

In that moment, you either fall flat on your face, with no hope to give these listeners what they are looking for, or you pitch your best western idea.

The writer’s goal in the pitch meeting is not to sell his screenplay or story idea.

His goal was to make a fan.

Making a fan allowed him to have a successful meeting, even if his script or ideas were not what that studio was looking for that day.

The reality of this process is that people get fired, move up, move down, move laterally. But people also have long memories. Several studios had rejected this writer’s pitches previously, but then six months later the executive who listened to the pitch called him back and wanted to work together — because he moved to a different studio where the priorities changed. The executives loved the writer’s previous pitches, even if they could not hire him at that moment.

The writer had made a fan during the encounter.

If you impress people, they will remember.

Don’t worry about the short-term results. Don’t even worry about winning the meeting or the interview. Play the long game.

You should have only one goal in every interaction: make a fan.

Redefine Success

Your goal is not to win the pitch. Your goal is not to sign a deal. Your goal is NOT to impress people with your knowledge, skills, or good looks.

All of those things might be good results, but they are not your goal.

You only have one goal in every interaction.

Make a fan.

Make. A. Fan.

That’s it. No other goals, just that one.

Redefine what you are trying to accomplish, and you will ensure success in every interaction.

Because in every interaction there are factors that you cannot control.

How to Win Every Interview From Now Until Forever

“Opportunities multiply as they are seized.” —Sun Tzu

If you are in a job interview, you have no idea what the interviewer is looking for. Maybe you meet the criteria, and maybe you do not. I have hired lots of people and interviewed many more. I can often tell if the person is what I am looking for within 10 minutes. Sometimes even less time than that.

So what should the interviewee do?

Make a fan.

Focus on what you can control. You can’t control what the other person is looking for, but you can control your own mindset and actions. You can control whether someone becomes a fan of you.

This may seem crazy, but I no longer think about end results when I enter new situations. I just focus on making a fan. Everything else takes care of itself.

Incredible results have followed.

From this point forward, every interview you go on will be a complete success — because you will make a fan.

During your next interview, never feel bad if you do not get the job. The interviewer is looking for something specific. And you either have it, or you don’t. It doesn’t matter: make a fan.

I guarantee they will remember you if you make a fan.

This Works in Every Situation

“How you do anything is how you do everything.”

Do not just think this applies to job interviews. It applies to everything.

• New relationships — imagine if you make a fan the first time you meet someone?
• Current relationships — imagine if the people you spend the most time with become raving fans?
• Sales — imagine if you make a fan during every sales meeting?
• Marketing — imagine if everyone becomes a fan, even if they don’t initially buy?
• Business — imagine if your customers become your biggest fans?
• Online — imagine if every interaction someone has with you online leaves an incredible impression?
• Service — imagine if your customer service is so incredible that even negative experiences create fans?

You will win in every interaction if you make a fan.

How Do I Make a Fan?

Making a fan is a skill that is more art than science, but here are some suggestions.

• Be on time.
• Be early.
• Send a sincere, handwritten thank you note.
• Have a great attitude.
• Have infectious enthusiasm.
• Smile.
• Have fun.
• Bring joy.
• Intense preparation, so you know everything possible to know about a situation, company, or person.
• Listen.
• Inspire.
• Never complain, even when the opportunity to complain seems right.
• Exceed expectations.
• Tell the truth.
• Listen more.
• Go to people’s weddings (if you are invited).
• Go to funerals. Extend heartfelt condolences.
• Tell a joke.
• Respond gently.
• Care.
• Treat each person like a person, each with his or her own hopes, dreams, goals, struggles, and desires. Not like an object that you are attempting to use for your own gain.
• Look someone in the eye.
• Listen even more than you think is reasonable.
• Follow John’s universal rule of being nice: Always be nice to secretaries and information technology (“IT”) people. First, secretaries are the gateway to many opportunities. Second, IT people will save you from disaster and you want them to love helping you because you will need their help at some point.
• Have a great handshake.
• Send condolence cards.
• Be low-friction or better yet, friction free.

Handle your business. You can’t control everything.

But you can control this: whether you make a fan or not.

Here are a few examples from my own life. I could tell a hundred stories like this.

• If a friend, client, or even an acquaintance has a product, service, book, or other item for sale, I buy it — without hesitation. I know that if I were in the other person’s position, I would want my friends to buy anything that I sell. I do it without hesitation.
• If my friends have a blog or write publicly, I always comment and encourage the activity. I know that I appreciate other people’s comments on my writing. It makes a difference.
• I once had a chance to spend some time with a federal judge. After our time together, he wrote me one of the most amazing notes I have ever received. He wrote: “If you were a corporation, I would invest in you.” Not much later, he provided an opportunity that changed my legal and professional career.
• I once bought every single available movie of a local filmmaker that I never met. I had never even seen any of the movies. I wanted to support local artists. He personally was so moved by this gesture that he hand delivered the DVDs to me. We are friends to this day and he is the first film producer that I represented in my law practice. He has referred countless clients to me as well.
• I once filled in for someone on a radio show with almost no notice. I was extremely busy but did the best that I could with zero friction. I stayed extra and even sent a handwritten thank you note. I have been invited back numerous times and have met incredible people — life-changing relationships — through this avenue.
• I once went to a large local luncheon. I had a seat reserved for me at the front table in advance. But someone took my seat. I had to scramble to find a seat in a room with 500+ people just as the event was starting. I ended up sitting down at an empty table way in the back. Another person needed a seat and sat down next to me. We spoke for the full lunch and really hit it off. I did not know it at the time, but this man was so impressed with me that he referred countless people to me and also hired me himself.

People will be impressed not by the cards you are dealt, but by how you play them.

Even if you face tough times, tough times don’t last. Even if a situation does not go your way, you can still do one thing.

You can make a fan.

One Fan At a Time

If you make a fan in every interaction, the number of your “fans” will go up every single day.

With enough fans, you will build an army of people who want you to succeed.

With an army of fans, you will rule the world.

So hurry up.

Make. A. Fan.